Distant Relative

As I sat there patiently waiting, I could only wonder of all the things my father could have left me. He wasn’t the best gift giver, being that we didn’t agree on many presents I received from him. My dad worked as a travel tour guide. Whichever place he would go, I could always expect him to bring something back. He always thought what he had was so amazing, but those things didn’t mean that much to me.

We didn’t have that close father and son relationship. My dad was always gone from country to country and we never had the time to bond. I was jealous of seeing everyone going camping with their dad or just something as simple as watching sports together. But it wasn’t even as if we would do that when he was home. I didn’t understand how he was my father with us having such conflicting personalities. The only thing I could do was accept it because I respected him being my dad.

But now I sat here waiting in the living room of his empty apartment, waiting on the lawyer to return. I looked around remembering the things that used to be here. The rom used to be filled with many different artifacts from his trips. The ivory elephant’s tusk from his Saharan safari sat on the mantle. His couch replicated one her saw in an ancient castle. He hung an Aztec mask over the fireplace.And I was just overwhelmed by how much all these things mean to my dad. He loved everything he brought back, it was his prized possessions.

I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I assumed it was the lawyer returning with what my dad left for me. But instead it was a woman. I had never seen her before and I was curious to know what she was doing here. “Hello,” she said politely. I responded to her with a hello as well. We both just sat there awkwardly in the empty room.

Another set of footsteps came. I hoped it was the lawyer this time because I couldn’t take another new person. This time it was the lawyer. “Good morning. I’m happy that the two of you came to receive what was left from Mr. Wilson.” He then pulled out a piece of paper from his suit’s jacket. “Mr. Wilson wanted me to read the following: If you are hearing this I have passed away. Please do not mourn over my death and instead celebrate the great times we may have shared. I hope my son is here to listen to my will. I did not leave a gift this time, I thought that would be the best gift. Of course you have inherited money, but I believe over the years you have got enough of what I have brought you. I want to add I am proud of you as my son although we have not bonded so well over the years. I love you. Also I hope my sister is there— the only other person left in my family. I understand you have been having difficulties in your life, so I leave you my apartment. It is paid for and I want you to have one less problem to worry about. I love you as well.”

I was surprised for the woman to be my aunt. My dad never told me about her. It was awkward again, but at least I knew of another relative. I was satisfied with what my dad left. Him knowing what I wanted was enough of a bond for me.

The Hike

We walked along the rocky path. As we climbed higher and higher the steps became more steep. The sun beamed down like a laser only pointing at us. When were we ever going to stop. My breath was shortening, and I pleaded for a break. She insisted, “We have to keep going.” Why did I sign up for this?

When we first began I loved the thought of an adventure, especially with a new person. You could learn about a new place while getting to know the person as well. And she seemed different from the rest. Her blonde hair spread throughout, flowing like a river. Her beautiful skin, so soft and silky made her face even more beautiful. But that couldn’t compare to her personality. She was willing to do everything which assured me I’d have a chance with such an interesting person like her. She made me want to try new things and I was set on marrying her at this point, but I had only known her for a month.

She convinced me to go on a hike through Yellowstone National Park. Me, nerdy grad student going on a hike? I have never considered this before. But I was up to anything with her. If she gave me a chance then I can do new things with her. I didn’t even know how to prepare for the activity. The nerd that I am, I researched everything I could to prepare for the hike. In the end I thought I was an expert. Now I was ready to go.

A week later we left to go. She continuously explained to me how fun and intimate the trip would be. I could only take her word for it. Even though I looked up all the information I needed it wasn’t the same as actually experiencing it. It took us 2 days to drive there. But once we got there the scene was beautiful. How great the nature was, I never appreciated as much as I did in that moment. As soon as we got our supplies out she was excited. “Hurry let’s start now!” She exclaimed. No time was wasted and the hike began.

We traveled along at our own pace. I recognized the plants: the white geraniums, yellow violets, and evening primroses. The beauty in the flowers I had never seen before. And the wildlife so up close with the deers roaming and bears, I was nervous. But I knew I would never get this opportunity again. The hike continued. I didn’t really know our destination, but she seemed to know where she was going. I was enjoying the fresh air, and walking in awe.

As the day grew older I started getting tired. I was proud of myself for how far I had come, but I couldn’t take it much longer. My water supply was running low and I just wanted to sit down. I asked her can we start heading back. “Yea we can if you’re ready,” she said. We turned back around.

As we began to walk back, I realized the scenery was not the same as before. “Are you sure we went this way?” I asked her.

She responded with her sweet voice, “I believe this is the way we came.” She seemed unsure, but I could only take her word. I remained calm to not make the situation worse but I just wanted to return to the car. We went through several circles and I was becoming more fatigue. I just had to take initiative now in the situation because we weren’t getting anywhere. I asked her for the map. I noticed where we were now and trailed the map to where the car was. I began the walk and she followed behind. Now I saw all the plants from before and I gained reassurance that we were going the right way.

After 2 hours on the journey through the park, I finally saw our car sitting there. I’ve never been so happy to get in the car. I needed water, food, and rest. Now I just wanted to get home. With her beautiful eyes glistening at me she seemed surprised at me for being the leader. A new feeling  was shared between the two of us. “You ready to go?”

“Yes I’m as ready as you are.” We drove off into the sunset—home here we come.

The Pleasant Day

I actually thought today would be one of the better days.  I had so many hardships throughout my life that I appreciated the better days to come since I didn’t have them so often. When I got up that morning there seemed to be a happy mood throughout the shelter. Everyone was saying good morning, there was a nice breakfast— bacon, pancakes, eggs, apple juice. The day was pleasant and warm, but I couldn’t just stay to enjoy the moment; I had to get ready for school. I was excited for a pleasant day to come. Now was my chance to wear a nice outfit. I never get the chance to. Now everyone won’t look at me as the poor girl—they can notice a change for once. I had new confidence for the day, something I desperately needed.

I hurried on my way to school. As I walked in the door everyone stared. I finally had my own spotlight. All my insecurities dropped and I had the brightest glow illuminating throughout my body. Then suddenly Janet walked by, I knew she was going to say something. “Mary you look pretty today.” Janet said pleasantly. Really? This was the first time I could expect a compliment from her. I must look nice today. Her compliment was another addition to make my day better. If only Shaun notices me the day would be complete.

The school day was going by pretty fast. How thankful I am so I can go out and enjoy the beautiful day. I was now in my final period— Chemistry. I always looked forward to Chemistry. Not only because it was the last period, but also I could see Shaun. I was anxious to know what his reaction would be towards my new look.

Shaun did not know that I had a crush on him. He was just always a friend towards me, which I appreciated. Shaun didn’t judge me for living in the shelter or not having fancy clothes, just being friendly was all I could ask for. But having a class together we began growing closer and getting to know each other. He knew my situation, I shared my life story with him. Shaun knew about my mother abandoning me and how I landed in the shelter. I didn’t want to go to a foster home. It would make me feel worse about my mother if I lived with such a great family and I didn’t want to think about it. Living in the shelter would give me a chance to be independent and prepare my life for myself. Yeah things would get hard, but in the end I would be proud because I got through it myself. Shaun respected me. We had a personal connection, but it would only get as far as a friendship.

As I walked into Chemistry, I walked gracefully to my seat. I arrived to class early to prepare for Shaun’s arrival. More and more students began rushing in but Shaun had not came yet. The bell rang. He must didn’t come to school today. Disappointment ran through my body, all I wanted was for him to see me today. I didn’t pay attention throughout the class, my mind was just wandering. Now the bell rang— school was over.

I walked out of the school somberly. The beautiful day was ruined. I just walked throughout the park, I wasn’t ready to go back to the shelter. I would just enjoy the fresh air.  I bought an ice cream and sat on the bench. I decided that it was a pleasant day regardless.

Old Money, New Money, and Everybody Else

As we have began to read The Great Gatsby we have came across the theme of social classes. But more specifically we have been introduced to the higher class, which also has divisions in it. The idea of old money and new money comes into place. Old money gives the idea that you are rich because of inheritance, the money is passed down through generations. Instead new money is something earned to make you rich, but in the long run will turn into old money.

Old money seems to have a resentment towards new money, that old money is better. Old money does not like this idea of new comers to their group. Old money feels to be the veterans and now all of a sudden this new person is rich and they think they can be apart of the group. This reminds me of high school, more like the movie Mean Girls. When Katie wanted to be apart of the Plastics Regina, the leader,was starting to be upset because of her rise to popularity all of a sudden.  Regina felt Katie  did not deserve the popularity and should be at the bottom as everyone else. Also I get this feeling with upper class men and lower class men. Here a Whitney Young during pep rallies upper class men make it their priority to distinguish where each grade should go and no one else besides seniors can sit in the middle. With these higher groups they feel they have this entitlement because they have been there longer, but in the long run everyone will be in their place: new money will turn old and lower class men will get older.

As with everyone else, you fit in where you get in. In The Great Gatsby since they cannot have the riches, they will still be apart of the social life. They are able to attend Gatsby's parties without being rich or apart of this upper class. They go where they are allowed to be.

Thankful (for a classmate)

I enjoy plenty of my classmates in my corner. They provide joy and entertainment daily in 6th period English class. But one classmate I am thankful for is Aajeanna Brooks. She has been a great new friend I have met this year. We seemed to have a lot in common. We have the same birthday! We have weird little convos about what would we do in unrealistic situations which are pretty funny. Also we help each other on most of our group works and are beneficial to each other. After school we even ride the train together and get off at the same stop! We have a parting words almost every day. Aajeanna is really a funny person and I love her imagination in reading her different stories we share in English. I have 1st period Spanish with her but we have gotten closer in English. That's my buddy and I am thankful for her!

I Celebrate Myself

Many people celebrate themselves in different ways. They throw parties to show an accomplishment, have a little dinner, or just simply give themselves a pat on the back. But was the accomplishment something they truly wanted to do or was it fulfilling someone else's dream?

To truly celebrate yourself you have to do what makes you feel happy. Things that you enjoy. From the theories of the transcendentalists you don't have to go with the status quo to be happy. You can do what makes you happy and that is perfectly fine. At the end of the day you are only living for yourself so why not do what you want to do?

Thoreau just simply wanted to look at a blade of grass. And that was perfectly fine, he wasn't bothering anybody. It was to the point of realizing the similarities that him and this piece of grass had. He went down to simpler terms and enjoyed looking at it. That's the purpose of celebrating yourself. Maybe not to the extreme of looking at grass all day, but to just do what you want to do. Not falling under society's definition of what should make you happy or what you should be doing. It is about individuality. But I must admit individuality is much more common nowadays. People don't mind at all doing what they want to do and how different it makes them seem because they are happy with it. The true theory behind the transcendentalists.

Too many people live their lives, following parents dreams. "Oh we want you to be a doctor." But you just want to be a video game creator. But then you don't say anything, and do what you want to do. You go on off to college almost done with school until you realize that this is truly not your dream. Then you finally speak up about it. But now your time is wasted, you could have been on about your life, happy with the job you have, being your own individual. You shouldn't wait that long. Celebrate yourself and ideas so that your dreams can come true.

So I celebrate myself. I do what I can to make myself happy. I make changes to make sure those actions satisfy me to the point that I'm enjoying life and not just living on a day to day basis. I have too much opportunity and freedom to follow my passions and dreams to not take them. At the end I don't want to regret because I was living for someone else and instead their happy and I'm miserable. I"ll live for myself because in the end that is all I will have. And I'll celebrate my choices and accomplishments with the parties, dinners, and pat on my back because I am happy!

Poe

In all the stories we read from Edgar Allan Poe, they are all sad and depressing. So what is behind this gloom with these different readings? Who really is Edgar Allan Poe?

Edgar Allah Poe had a depressing life. It was a lot for one to go through. First his mom died when he was young from tuberculosis. Also his wife died from this disease as well and his lost his brother. He soon developed a gambling problem and ran into money problems. He was taken in by another family the, Poes, and the father, John, tried to help Poe go back on the right path. But instead they soon parted and Poe went back into a flump.

For most of his stories it is some sense of death occurring. And it is with someone who is close to the character. This is all that Poe knows since all these people that meant something to him and close are dying from the same diseases. So of course all he would write about his death. Because of these deaths it has shaped his perception on life, he questions what really happens after you die. (The Raven). He constantly asks questions about were has his wife gone, to heaven or not. This can be applied directly to his life asking were has his loved ones gone.

Also everyone has this since of madness and going craziness in the characters of the stories. Which Poe was also going crazy himself. Everyone knew him to have this quality. Also he had drinking problems which does alter your mind perception. In "The Raven" the man was ultimately talking to a bird, which is something that can not occur. Getting to the point of arguing with the bird. In "Ligeia" the character was smoking his life away, getting high, having these wild visions not knowing what was occurring. Then he locks his new wife in a bridal chamber which is basically a tomb. That is cray. In "The Fall of the House of Usher" it was this sense of vampire things going on. The man, Roderick, was going crazy being the only left in his family driving himself to death.

This was just how Poe felt on the inside in my opinion, which gave his stories this distinctness. Following this pattern of death and craziness, you knew it was a Poe story.

What is an American?

What is an American? The basic thing you can say is someone who is born in the country of America or a legal citizen of it. America is too diverse to just categorize it as one distinct group. America is based upon immigrants. We are also referred to as the "melting pot" because of the mixture we have as a country. But I can entail some beliefs of an American that can distinguish us from other countries.

Americans have this strong believe behind liberty. That is what our country is based upon. This is what original settlers fought for: "Give me liberty, or give me death!" Then when you enter our country from the common place immigrants came from, you see this image of the Statue of Liberty. What great power that has to truly leave an impression on what the country is about. And Americans know we have this freedom and are liberated. Based on other countries where citizens are prisoners in their own land, they dream to be free and liberated. And we have this luxury. 

Americans also have this sense of entitlement. We feel that we deserve certain things and that may not always be right. This also branches from the idea that we are the land of opportunity. Because of all these options and choices we feel that we our obligated to certain things that may not always be true. You still have to put in the work and build up from something. Nothing is just handed down to you and because we do give things from that opportunity we do get besides ourselves and take advantage of that. We feel entitled to every opportunity that is given but that may not always be the case. For example, scholarships: every one can apply for different scholarships to gain money for school, but if you do not fall under that groups certain qualifications or put in the work for certain grades or activities to get the scholarship, then you will not gain that scholarship. Some people get beside that fact and feel that just because they applied for this opportunity they should get it, which is not the case. Other countries do not have this sense of entitlement. They know they have to work for what they need and are pushed to great limits to get this accomplishments done. Like in China education is not as common so parents push to the farthest extent the importance of education and for their child so that they can gain these opportunities that were not handed to them.

America is a great, powerful country. It is full of many different groups of people which makes us special and brings us together. Being born in this country of being and official citizen of it is what makes you an American, and also to be behind these beliefs and ideas.

Modern Puritans

Lately in English class we have been focused on the religious group the Puritans. They are a part of the early settlers religious group. Their laws were basically followed after the bible. If you committed a sin, you broke a law. Then you were punished accordingly. But even though this groups beliefs were in existence so long ago, do these ideas of motives still exist today? Who are the modern Puritan under strict rules?

I believe celebrities in general are getting the punishments as a modern Puritans. For example I will use Miley Cyrus. Everyone knows how wild she has become, and many people do not agree with this new image she is portraying. Even though she seems to be free to do whatever, anytime she sticks out her tongue she is punished for the crime. People continuously call her a bad role model for her new acts. But this is only because of her past job, as being Disney channel's teen inspirational rock star. But last time I checked Miley is not a Puritan. She has gotten older now and I don't recall her asking to be a role model and constantly upholding this image. Why is she being harshly punished and criticized for being wild and outrageous? Because she is a public figure and that is the punishment for the modern Puritan.

Then let's relate it more to a Puritan issue, adultery. Or at least something close to it, an inappropriate relationship. Recently the mayor of Newark, New Jersey was found to be talking to a stripper via Twitter. Now everyone is in uproar because he talked to this stripper in his direct messages on Twitter. But let's take in consideration that he's single and it was a harmless reply to one of his fans. It was not hidden and he admitted to it out in the open. But it is almost to the point of him being branded with an A merely because of the fact she is a stripper. And it's even more blown out of proportion because he is a public figure. The punishments of the modern Puritans.

John Proctor: Hero or Scrooge

Overall in the play/story "The Crucible" John Proctor is my favorite character. He displays great qualities of a man. Therefore I see him as a hero.

In the beginning the first thing we saw about John in his affair with Abigail. Then we think "That's horrible! He cheated on his wife with a teenager." But he also feels bad about the decision. Overall he regrets it and tries to make up for it throughout the story. He wants his marriage to return to the old days. Then he is also displayed as this non-churchgoer. We start to wonder why isn't he conforming to do the right thing. Later we find out church is not even a positive rejoicing place anymore. It is just full of negativity. We cannot judge John, everyone makes mistakes.

Now let us look at all the great things John tries to accomplish. When his wife is arrested he goes to fight for her. But no he does not just stop there, he is trying to free everyone wrongly convicted. Even when the court gave the deal to save his wife John still fought for those still in jail. He was seen as trying to "overthrow the court" and still pushed through to get the truth out.

At the end in act four John seemed to be locked up so long almost to the point of his hanging. They were urging for him to confess so he would not die. Even though John know he was not a witch after all the pushing he did confess. Also they tried for him to accuse others and John did not. He stayed true to his word. The last straw was pulled when they tried to get him to sign to his confession. This was my favorite part that touched me. He asked to at least have his name. To show that was the last thing he owned. For him they could strip away all that he has, but his valuable item is his name: John Proctor. That was a truly heroic move for him to ultimately sacrifice his life for. In the end he dies for his 11 letter name something I do not believe is a common way to lose your life over. Even though his ultimate  goal to free the people was not accomplished John tired. And that was heroic.

Arrivals.. There Goes the Neighborhood

Of course in this situation, everyone will take the Native Americans side. Yeah, because for the most part they were the victims in this situation. All of a sudden a new group of people were coming out of nowhere trying to take what is not theirs. But I have decided to take the hard way through this. Let us look at it from the English settlers perspective.

Yes, we know that the English settlers did do the Native Americans wrong. They used their trust that they gained from the natives against them. Overall to conquer this land and to use it for their own purpose. But then again we cannot forget the real reason they came over to America anyway. They wanted to have a place to call their own. Where they can be comfortable and free to do what they wanted. A place called home.

After looking at it that way it reminded me of the play/novel "A Raisin in the Sun". For a background history this play is set in Chicago around the 1950s. An African American family set to live in poverty, saves up and moves into a predominantly white neighborhood. Being the fact that this is during an era of racism, of course the neighbors are trying to run them out. But all the family wanted was to better themselves. The father, Walter Younger, wants his kids to have a better home to live in. Some place that they are comfortable in. After all the conflicts presented in the play, at the end the family decides not to move and stay in this neighborhood. This relates to the English settlers. Back in their homes they were outcasts and for the most part ran out of England. They came to America to better themselves as well. Even though they did not approach it with great ease, they did gain this land and called it home. 

Regardless of the problems the English settlers brought upon the Native Americans, in the long term it brought greater results. In their time, yes some devastation did occur. And with their arrival the Native American's neighborhood did disappear. Hence "there goes the neighborhood." Some lives were ruined, and relationships were broken. But I do agree with Ireti that I would not change a thing. If it were not for these events my life would be how it is now. I am perfectly fine with it.

Me

      My name is Natea.
     
       I am a teenager. Fifteen to be exact. Yes, you can characterize me as being normal. I haven't found any unique qualities about myself.  Then I try to rethink how I see myself. It has to be something different about me.
     
        Overall I am a good student. Yes I try my hardest. I'm not a slacker. It's too much for me to prove for me to give up on not doing hard work. I'm still trying to find myself. I want to be overpowering and participate all throughout the class. Then when I'm actually in a class I feel it's hard to take on that role when so many bright students come together and all want to talk. I just want to be memorable. For you to be excited to know you're coming to a class with me, and interested to know my input. Yes I try, but sometimes my shyness overcomes me. Then I downplay myself and fall back into the shadows.

         Then on the English side, I actually like this class. I like being able to express myself. I like the freedom to write what comes to mind. But then again I don't like to much freedom. I need a little structure to guide me the right way or I will just fall off the wagon. But I like writing and reading stories and books then doing whatever activity goes along with it.

        Then on the other hand I'm a very competitive person. It drives me to do better. But I know how to keep it in check so I won't come off as this aggressive girl trying to be the best. I'm also funny. I like to make jokes and hear them. I'm playful and like to make anything I do  as fun as possible so I can get through it. I'm a little crazy and wacko, but that just adds on to my joking around. I'm friendly and I try to be open. But I also have strong opinions that I believe in and I love to hear others perspectives to see how another person might think about the situation.

       But again I'm still trying to discover myself. This is what I have found out so far.